the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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