How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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