he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
