It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
