i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
