dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All I want is dick and wine.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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