This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I wish you could order shots online.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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