Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
