new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
