I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
