Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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