i need an iv and a liver transplant
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
