They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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