then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
