Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
