im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
