If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
And then he peed in my hair
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