shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
