as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize