spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
