why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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