I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
