If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
