You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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