I think my fart just growled at me.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
