trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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