Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
