i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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