so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
