Pants 0. Shit 1.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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