it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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