at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
