Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."

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(714): View more from California

Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.

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(314): View more from Missouri

i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.

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(303): View more from Colorado

You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller

(1-303): View more from Colorado

I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth

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(206): View more from Washington

We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.

(425): View more from Washington

It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze

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(402): View more from Nebraska

You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...

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