i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
