I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
