hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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