Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
