I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize