so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
only you would photoshop your dick
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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