Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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