can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize