maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
