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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!

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• (347): View more from New York

  k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock

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• (516): View more from New York

  She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.

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• (914): View more from New York

  Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."

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• (914): View more from New York

  I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  It wasn't my fault.

  (330): View more from Ohio

  You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?

  (380): View more from Ohio

  I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas

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