GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
