real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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