he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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