Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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