yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
