Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
