the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
