Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
