So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
