he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
