My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
