I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
