I feel like abortions should bother me more
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm both gender and math confused
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize