ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
