I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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