On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
