You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
