Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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