was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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