At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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