Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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