Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
