I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize
