i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
