my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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