So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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