____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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