Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
