Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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