i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
