You don't have asthma, your pregnant
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
