hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
