absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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