I'm pants shitting drunk right now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
