i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
