we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How does it feel to date your dad?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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