Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize