Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
