how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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