Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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