HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
